PART-TIME LOVERS

I was listening to my Ipod and an old song from H-town “Part-time Lover” came on (I really think I’m showing my age with this one, because a lot of you don’t have a clue who H-town is). Anyways this song reminded me of one of my favorite analogies about part-time lovers.
As I sit here and read the status update of most of my fellow Facebookers I see that most of you have a hump day and you really look forward to weekends. Image this you’re sitting at your desk, cubical, classroom, or hell even behind the counter and your boss comes in and says this…. “You have been extremely productive here at our company and we value you as an employee. We have been hearing rumors that you were unpleased with your current work scheduled and we would like to reduce your hours. Hold on Mr./Mrs./Ms. (Your Name) please stop cursing and throwing things… You’re taking this the wrong way let me explain what I’m offering you… I’m prepared to let you work part-time here, but willing to pay you your fulltime salary… I would like for you to take the rest of the day off and return tomorrow with your answer.” Most of you wouldn’t even need 30 seconds to make that decision, and I’m sure 100% you take him up on that offer. Now that you’ve heard my little scenario let’s see if we can tie this into today blog topic.
If a person can receive fulltime lover’s benefits for part-time lover’s services why would they ever want a fulltime position again? One of the biggest mistakes made during the beginning stages of a relationship is giving someone fulltime benefits when they’re really only doing part-time work. It’s ok to give them a little snack during they’re part- time shift… but just use that as an incentive to push them to work a little hard to become your full time employee. The problem is some people can’t differentiate between when to handout the snack and when to give away the full course meal. This part is really hard for me because I haven’t made too many fulltime commits myself (I’m more of a weekend lover….lol). If they haven’t given you a fulltime commit, then there’s no reason for them to get the fulltime benefits. Part-time commits only get you part times benefits. It’s not on me to tell you what you should consider part-time or fulltime benefits, but I will say fulltime should be an obvious upgrade from part-time. I’m just saying I don’t think person will ever commit fulltime if they’re getting fulltime benefits for their part-time loving.
Maybe it’s a little unfair for me to be given out so much information about how we really think, but I feel like most of this stuff women already know. So I guess I’m just confirming what you already know…These are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

TOO INDEPENDENT

“I love her ‘cause she got her own….She don’t need mine, so she leaves mine alone. There ain’t nothin’ that’s more sexy… Than a girl that want, but don’t need me.” I need you to close your eyes and picture me singing that with a sexy voice ( Now that I got the ladies panties wet… let’s get down to business). The Urban dictionary defines an INDEPENDENT WOMEN as “a woman who pays her own bills, buy her own things, and does not allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports herself entirely and is proud to be able to do so." Nowhere in that definition does it say she is way too sure of herself, extremely eager to express her opinion (and demolish yours); nor does it say she is an obnoxious, know-it-all pain in the ass. The problem with so many “TOO INDEPENDENT” women is that they want to control everything and reduce their men to being boys. They think they know the answer to everything Who, What, When, Where, and, Why. Men hate that sh!t with a passion.. Women that are TOO INDEPENDENT do not leave room for compromise. Or better, they see “compromise” as “he must change for me” or “he must adapt to my life style”. I think men will compromise, but if he sees that he is the only one making compromises, very soon he will start to question his role in the relationship. Seriously are we a companion, or an accessory? Ladies you have to allow your men to be men. The same way women are instinctively nurturers men are instinctively providers. It’s in a man’s nature to protect and provide, and when you don’t allow him to do that he starts to feel as if he’s not wanted or needed. Why in the hell would someone stick around where they’re not wanted or needed? Men aren’t intimidated by an INDEPENDENT WOMEN. So don’t think that’s the case… men are repelled by women who are unable to turn off her ego and attitude. These women are considered TOO INDEPENDENT.

Look ladies I’m not saying being Independent is a bad thing… Hell it's a great thing, but being TOO INDEPENDENT is the problem. I truly understand that black women (keep it 100 that’s who I’m talking about here) have a history of working 1 or 2 jobs to support themselves, and then come home to work a full time job as a mother (love you mom). I understand that there are some sorry ass dudes out there who have left you to raise kids and to take care of all of the bills on your own. I understand that due to these past events in history you feel like in order to get things done, you’ve had to rely upon yourself. As a result of this, you feel like you really don’t need a man. You have to get over that and let a real man be a man..
I will be totally honest with you. We need each other; hell men and women were made to be together. Look at the equipment God has blessed us with: it fits so perfectly together (well in most cases…lol). A strong man and a strong woman should make a powerful combination, but when a woman is TOO INDEPENDENT there’s no compromise or communication. That's when two strong people develop a power struggle and it drives them apart.

There is nothing wrong with being a successful, driven, INDEPENDENT woman. Ladies you should never put your life or career on hold because a man feels inferior to you, but at the same time there is no need to drive a good man away by being TOO INDEPENDENT. I’m going to end this with a verse from one of my favorite songs… This is the second verse on Musiq Soulchild’s last alum ONMYRADIO the song is called “SOMEONE”….
All that I hope for a friendship that´s so pure
A girl I can talk to bout
whatever is on my heart
A woman that needs me
That trust and believes me
That won’t take my kindness as
some kind of weakness
A woman who bares her soul who
is willing to let go
That wants me to lead her but
knows how to take control
And when I am feeling down
Cause things are going wrong
She fills me up and makes me feel strong
THERE ARE GOING TO BE TIMES WHEN A MAN MAY SLIP AND FALL, AND IT’S GOING TO TAKE A STRONG WOMAN TO HELP HIM UP…. CAN YOU BE THAT WOMAN?

These are JUST MY THOUGHTS.....

5 x 20% RULE

I have met a few wonderful women in my life time, and there were many different things I liked about them all. Sometimes it would be something as simple as her smile and other times it was something as serious as our compatibility. Whatever the case, it was never enough to keep me interested. I really can’t explain why. Maybe it was that thing they call the 80-20 rule or maybe I just haven’t found the right combination for my 80%. Well I think I have found a solution for this it’s called the 5 x20% rule.
Everyone has heard of the 80-20 rule. It’s crazy how we would risk losing 80% for a measly 20%, but let’s keep it 100 this happens all the time. I think most people appreciate having that 80%, it’s just that they’re not quite sure which 80% they really need in their life. This is where the 5x20% rule comes into play. I remember joking about this awhile back, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense to me (That’s all that really matters).
Let’s start with the obvious the 80-20 rule equals 100% and the 5x20% rule equals 100%, so it’s basically two different paths to get to the same location. The 5x20% rule is simple. Listed below are 5x20% rules in order.
First, you must be honest with yourself and honestly figure out what five qualities you really feel you need in a companion. (You may only choose 5… Hence the 5x20% rule)
Second, take your time and find a few people that possess one or more of the qualities you wrote down on the first step. Me personally I would chose one person per quality, that way you can evaluate each quality in depth, but to each his/her own. You really have to focus on this one, and try not to pick people with the same combination of qualities. Doing so would defeat the purpose of spending time with different people. You must understand this isn’t about sex. So I’m not saying you have to sleep with the people you choose… We all love sex (trust me I understand), but sex is usually the first thing to diminish in a relationship. This has to be about the important things in a relationship, and even though sex would be first on a lot of lists I consider it more of a bonus then a necessity.
Third, as you’re spending quality time with your quality people try and shorten your list of required qualities. This is going to the frustrating step, but this has to be done in order to find you true 80%.
Finally, once you have finished the elimination process remember which 4 ( 80%) quality you decided to keep and which 1 (20%) you feel you can do without. Now here is the tricky part... even though you now know what you're looking for you may not find that particular combination of qualities in one of the previous people you spent time with. So if you don't find that combination you're still in good shape, because the previous steps give you a good foundation to start with. If you are lucky enough to find that person during the initial quality search then the process is complete. This may sound a little crazy at first, but it’s the best route to take, because when you finally commit to your special person it should truly be a match made in heaven or a GIFT from GOD… In my world this would be a perfect solution to stop people from wondering around looking for that 20%, because now you have already told yourself you can do without it. Now it’s on you to man up and not chase after it. I know this seems a little crazy and I will even admit that it is, but hey this is my blog and these are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

TRADING FILET MIGNON FOR SPAM

Fellas why is it that we can’t seem to understand article 68, sections A & B in the Man Law Handbook? This article states: “NO MAN WILL REPLACE HIS CURRENT OR EX- GIRL WITH ANOTHER WOMAN WHO IS NOT AN OBVIOUS UPGRADE”. Hell this is a law even the women follow and they have never seen the Handbook.
Article 68 section A…: Looks and Appearance:
Looks should not be the most important element of this article, I know and understand that, but let’s be honest the first attraction is always a physical attraction. This new person may possess a lot of the qualities you’re looking for in a woman, but if she is not easy on the eye that’s a No-No… Although the qualities are and should be the most important thing you just can’t down grade. Now if your ex was ugly as hell, then we understand, there really isn’t more than one level of ugliness. If you insist on going against this Man Law then at least focus on her appearance. I have to admit it’s really going to be hard to make Chicken Salad out of Chicken Sh!t, but if you spend enough money to spice it up, maybe someone other than you will eat it….
Article 68 section B…: Financially stable & educated:
Leaving a financially stable and educated woman for a woman who has no education or career is just plain stupid (notice I added career, because you don’t need an education to have a good career). How in the Hell can she be a Homemaker/ Housewife when you stay in an apartment and you don’t have any kids… SMH….Oh yeah, doing hair in the kitchen does not count as a career…. I think this topic is cut and dry so I won't beat a dead horse. These are JUST MY THOUGHTS… What do you think?