WHY WON'T THEY CHEAT?

A lot of us walk around bragging about our sexual life. Men openly boast about their so called stroke of gold and some women discreetly think if they threw their cookies up in the air it would turn to sunshine (Harlem Nights). I’m starting to believe they really think that…. That would be the only reason they would think the person cheating on their significant other for few a nights with you wouldn’t do the same to you. Let’s keep it 100 is it because the chick before you didn’t treat him right? “She didn’t know how to treat him… I make him feel like a man” or Dude couldn’t put it down like me “I got her sprung of the D!@K”?? Yeah yeah yeah! That’s what the last dude/chick before you said. If he/she got with you once and they already had a dude/girl why wouldn’t they cheat on you?

Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m sure you will), but I think this is more of a female issue. True enough some males do have this problem, but usually if she already has a man a guy is content with being boyfriend #2 (at least I know I am). Hell! All you would have to do is provide a little maintenance every now and then. On the other hand most females are not going to settle with being girlfriend #2. They normally only get involved if they feel they have a fair chance at stealing you away from who you are currently with. Yeah they may accept that role during the transition phase, but eventually she is going to go there and we all know where there is. I really want to know why you want him/her. Why would you force a cheating person’s hand? I mean it has to be sexual so keep it real and keep it moving… You can’t honestly think your golden stroke or your sunshine can keep a lock on to him/her...You will eventually lose your grip just like the person before you.
I just think you’re a fool if you think they won't cheat. Maybe my opinion is too strong, but these are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

NO COUTH!!!

Couth defined:Showing or having good manners or sophistication

True story (no B.S.)…. I’m standing there having a conversation with another male officer, when a female officer (I only mention Officers because we are suppose to be educated and have some kind of couth) walks up smiling and joins in on the conversation. A few minutes after joining the conversation she says “Hey Henry I got something for you” she then turns and actually farts on my leg…WTF… I really felt that shit. Trust me it wasn’t one of those little poots women try and sneak out and hope you don’t smell and call her ass on it (she really let one go). I was at a loss for words, and y’all know I can talk for days. The weird thing was people were standing there laughing like the shit was cool.
So now I’m staring at her with that “did you really just do that shit look on my face”. She had the audacity to ask me “what’s wrong” ….is she serious. :
1)You don’t know me that well….
2)There is no way you can possibly be that comfortable around me, and
you don’t know we that well…and
3)THAT’S JUST PLAIN NASTY….
I’m I being too critical? I mean I have never had a female do that to me before…. I use to think she was attractive, but now she is just plain nasty. She has lost every cool point she had with me. Is there a time when a woman should feel comfortable enough to do that? I personally don’t think women should ever be that comfortable, but these are JUST MY THOUGHTS... What do you think?

WINDOW SHOPPING

I really hate going to the mall with a woman. I don’t know what’s worse, her asking me to hold her purse, or sitting in front of the dressing room waiting on her to try on clothes she probably won't buy. When I really think about it I only go because I’m hoping to get a chance at a spontaneous quickie in the dressing room... Unfortunately that hasn’t happened yet…
A woman has the ability to go into the mall and try on 1000’s of dollars worth of clothes and leave the mall without purchasing anything but a Frappuccino from Starbucks…SMH….That’s because most women are unsure of what they really want and need. I try not to include myself in my blogs, but I think this will help get a full understanding of what I’m trying to say. When I go in the mall I know that I wear; an extra large shirt, size 38 long in pants and a size 12 shoe. So when I go to try on clothes (if I even try them on) that’s the size I go for. On the other hand, a woman will know exactly what size she wears and still try on a smaller size every single time. Women pick men the exact same way. Like I said earlier they’re never really sure of what they really want or need. For example, why do most women want a sensitive rough neck or thug?? WTF That’s an oxymoron …..Hell!!! Either you want him to smack you around or you want him to cuddle with you… You can’t have both. Women also go to the mall and buy those expensive pair of Manolo Blahniks knowing your feet are going to be hurting like hell later. She will also pick a men knowing he walk, eat, sit, and bark like a dog. All he is going to do is piss on you to mark his territory then leave you where you stand.
Men on the other hand always buy the clothes and shoes that fit comfortable…What? What do you mean why? Because a man always knows what he wants no IFs ANDs or BUTs about it. Well maybe at first he does; that is until a woman comes along and tries to convince him otherwise. If he lets that happen then they’re both screwed because now neither one of them knows what the hell they want.
I really don’t know if this is a fair assessment of men and women, but either way these are JUST MY THOUGHTS! What do you think?

A Christmas List of Kryptonite

Every Superhero has his/her weakness… That weakness proves that they are still human and not completely invincible… Well lately I had been thinking that I was invincible, I mean nothing could penetrate this heart of Ice Cold Steel. I was convinced. Yeah! Before you ask, I do consider myself a superhero… There’s Superman, Batman, Ironman, all of the X-men, hell there is even a Wonder Woman. So why can’t I be… you ready for this…. ta dadada ta daaa! THE MANTENTENCE MAN! Ok ok ok… I have to work on my intro, but I know you can picture me in my black cape and Under Armour compression shorts (tights aren’t manly), with a tool belt around my waist and a hammer and nail logo on my chest.... LMBAO.
Well this morning I found my weakness and it came in the form of a Christmas wish list. I was talking to Mini Me (CJ my son) on Skype last night and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Asking a child what he wants for is just plan crazy because usually they ask for about 50 different things and the price is not an issue because they don’t have to pay for it. Well CJ only had a three present wish list, and here is what he wanted:
1) A Percy the train for his train track (one of Thomas the trains friends) to replace the one or two he had already broken ($10.99).
2) A whole lot of Lightning McQueen cars to add to the 25 he already has ($23.99).
3) Lastly he wanted his daddy to be there when he woke up that morning...priceless. After I explain to him that I am far way and I wouldn’t be there; this is he conversation that we had:
CJ: “Well how about this… you can pick me up in your fast car that way you can come and get me”
Me: “CJ, daddy doesn’t have his car”
CJ: “Well how about this… you can pick me up from my mommy’s house and take me to get Percy” (the train he wants).
Me: “CJ daddy won’t be home for a long time, but he will buy you anything you want”
CJ: “ I just want you to come and get me and take me to your house for my birthday then”
Mommy: “ CJ your daddy is going to be gone for along long time… he is going to miss Christmas and your birthday, but he is coming to get you when he gets back”
CJ started to cry once his mother finally broke it down to him. Due to the elements here in Iraq the sand and dust was starting to make my eyes water. That was the moment I realized that my Mini Me would spend this entire holiday season plus his 5th birthday without me. That’s how I found my weakness. My weakness is CJ. I should have known because I remember taking him to get his shot as a baby and him crying and giving me that 'you’re not going to protect me look. I remember fighting back the tears then…. I normally end my blog by saying "these are JUST MY THOUGHTS", but today I will say, THIS IS JUST HOW I FEEL. I guess you would have to be a parent to understand...

POWER OF THE COOKIE

I woke up every morning at 5:30 to go on my routine morning run. After my run I went to breakfast I had 3 hard boiled eggs instead of that western omelet I had been fiending for. Those of you who know me know that I love ice cream, but I have limited myself to one measly scoop on Sunday (Sundae) evenings at dinner. I’m really trying hard to maintain an attractive physical appearance. Did you seriously just ask why? Well it’s not my fault I’m going to blame it on the power of the COOKIE. Yeah the power of the COOKIE, it can take control of most men (unless he doesn’t like cookies and that’s not for me to talk about).
Almost everything a man does is done for the COOKIE. To a man having a lot of COOKIES in his COOKIE jar is almost as important as the money in his bank account. The only reason the COOKIE isn’t held higher is because you usually need money to get the COOKIE, and it doesn’t work that well the other way around (Hopefully by now we are starting to understand what the cookie really is).
Women have this strong power over men, and I don’t think all of them know they have it. Now don’t get me wrong there are a few of them out there who know about this power, but unfortunately most of us call them “GOLD DIGGERS”. A gold digger knows what she has and she uses it to get exactly what she wants… I’m telling you the COOKIE is a powerful thing; a man will give up almost anything for a piece of it. All she has to do is break him off a few crumbs here and there, and he will keep giving that COOKIE dough (haha I made a funny). I hear women all the time talking about how they got played, but a gold digger (real gold digger) can’t get played because she gets the goods before she gives up the COOKIE… I don’t want you to mistake a GROUPIE for a gold digger. A groupie has gold digger intentions, but she gives up the COOKIE too fast, so all she normally gets is a free limo ride and a chance to stand around in VIP for the night. I see I'm starting to digress because this wasn't meant to be a gold digger 101 class.
I don’t want you to get it twisted and get your feelings hurt...Some COOKIES have more power than others. I think every female should know what her COOKIE worth…. If you have a value meal COOKIE don’t be trying to get a Mercedes, just push for the Super Size and a Mcflurry and consider it a come up….
The bottom line is male friends, boyfriends, and husbands can be all controlled by the COOKIE. You just have to know how much power your COOKIE has:
Is it a Otis Spunkmeyer because they’re always soft and chewing (Giiirrrl keep that glass of milk)… or is it that 2/$1.00 or 1/.59 cent pack from Wal-mart (as soon as you open the package they turn to dust)
THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS… What do you think?

Why Would You Take The Drink?

Females have had bathroom conversation for years about the guy who keeps following them around the club…When you think about it he is probably outside of the bathroom while you’re having that conversation. Yeah I know he gets on your nerves (DAMN!!! is he a stalker or something).
Here is the million dollar question… Why is this fool following me everywhere? Riiiiiiight! You read the topic of this post so I’m sure you know he is following you because you’re walking around the club with his drink. Yeah! That’s right! I said his drink; as long as there’s ice in that cup your time belongs to him. At least that’s what he thinks, and that’s why he bought the drink. When a guy buys you a drink in the club he is attracted to you and probably trying to get to know you on a different level whether it’s socially or sexually (He met you in the club so my guess is sexually)… Seriously think about it… have you ever seen a guy walk up to a group of girls and offer to by the ugliest one a drink… Exactly! Ugly drink buying doesn’t happen.
What makes it worst are you females who get the drink and have the audacity to go over and share it with their dusty ass friends who was probably not cute enough to get someone to buy them one. I can honestly say in all of my years (there is a lot of them) I have never bought a random chick a drink in the club. If I ever decide to buy a female a drink in the club, and she leaves to share it with her friend, well she just volunteered her friend for a Ménage a trios…
Why would you take the drink if you know you’re not interested in the person buying it? It really doesn’t make any sense to me, but hey these are JUST MY THOUGHTS…What do you think?