GIVING 100% OF WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT!

(THIS IS A RE-POST)
When the topic of love comes about I enjoy playing the Devil’s Advocate. I don’t do this because I disagree with love, but because I don’t truly understand love and I’m not in love with the idea of being in love. I like to give my opinion on everything, and usually when I give my opinion I like to stand by what I say, but when I give my opinion on love usually I’m just as confused as the person I’m giving my opinion to.
Now let’s get to the question at hand….Can a person only give their whole heart once?. Before you jump down my throat please let me try to explain my position. In my opinion whenever you truly love someone a portion of your heart belongs to that person. Regardless of why you separated, you can never fully recover 100%. Every time the opportunity for what you consider love comes about you start to question your judgment and find yourself on loves porch with your hand raised ready to knock ……One part of you hoping your knock is answered, and at the same time the other part of you hoping no one is home. I think this happens because a portion of your heart still belongs to your former lover, however small that portion may be, its filled with memories. Some of these memories good some of these memories bad, nevertheless they’re memories. For example, say you have had two former loves one you were just in love with he/she keep 5% of your heart and the other you were deeply in love with he/she keep 10% of your heart. That’s 15% of your heart filled with thoughts and memories from past relationships. Thoughts and memories about someone else you most likely you will always remember. If my math is correct that’s leaves you with 85% of your heart that is willing and ready to love.
I don’t include my personal life in my notes I normally just give my opinion, but since I think a lot of people will be scared to admit they may not have 100% of their heart left I will start it off. STATEMENT OF TRUTH: “ I Chauncey D. Henry admits that it is possible that a small portion of my heart was given away in a past relationship, but I can promise if I ever fall in love again she will receive 100% of what I have left.
If you don’t think a small piece of your heart is stuck with someone else then maybe you have never truly been in love.THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS
What do you think?

YOU'RE OUT

I’m really not that into baseball, but I’m going to use this analogy just to try and get my point across. I don’t know when or where it started, but we use the bases in baseball to determine how far we have advanced with a sexual partner. For example… 1st base (French kiss), and sex is consider a home run (SCORE). I’ll be honest most of us don’t give a damn about any other base but the home plate. We would rather step up to the plate and “Knock it out the Park” every time. The ultimate goal is to score, but if we have to round the bases one base at a time so be it.
Fella “bear with me” I’m only putting our business out there because there seems to be an ongoing problem with the ladies letting you all round 3rd base only to tag you out before you slide into home plate. Oh yeah! Noticed I said “letting you all round 3rd base” I consider myself old and retired….lol
Ladies I know you sitting back laughing, but this sh!t ain’t cool. You girls are building up a brotha’s excitement only to let us done in the end. I need you to understand we don’t let down that easy it takes hours (sometimes it has a mind of its own if you know what I mean). I still don’t think you understand what I am talking about so here is something I heard on the” FoxxHole Radio” XM 149 it’s the BEE KNEES… Maaaaaaan I be in the car laughing my assss off! OK ok I digressed (Get focus C. Hen).
Ladies pictures this… You and your man enter one of those fancy malls you know the ones with Bloomingdales, Coach, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany’s…etc. Anyways! Your man is taking you on an all-expense paid shopping spree, and you get to pick up any and everything you want. The conversation goes something like this:
You: Babe I want three Coach Purses.
Him: Dang Boo! Usually I buy my girls assistant Coaches, because they run a lil cheaper. But today go ahead grab’um.
You: Uuh babe I got get this Tiffany’s necklaces and I want 2 Tennis Bracelets.
Him: The necklace is cool, but I ain’t even know you played Tennis… Hell! I don’t even see you power walking, but today go grab’um…
Now you and your man headed to the register you all smiling and cheesing. The cashier rings everything up and right before she places it in the bag he yells “NOW PUT IT ALL BACK”! That’s Fu@ked up! You right it is Fu@ked up, but that’s exactly how we feel.
Ladies I’m not saying there’s something wrong with holding out. It’s belongs to you, so you can do with it what you see fit. I do know most of you know if he is going to hit that Home Run before the date is over. So all I’m saying is if it’s not going to happen just do him a favor and tag him out when he tries to still 2nd base.
These are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

RENTAL CAR WEEKEND/LOVING

How does the saying go “People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime?” Well I want to add a weekend to that. Sometimes it takes a while to determine if a person has come into, your life for a Reason, Season or Lifetime, but a Weekend is perfect as long as both people understand their roll and know that it’s a weekend rendezvous. Personally I think a Weekend Lover is extremely necessary, but I also understand it’s not for everyone. This is for those people who may not be ready to start or restart a relationship, but they still have a need for companionship. Who’s to say a WEEKEND couldn’t develop into a SEASON or LIFETIME… Hell we are consenting adults so we really don’t need a REASON.
Let me go a little deeper into this Weekend loving thing. For most people a weekend begins on Friday and ends on Sunday (about 2 full days of time), but my definition of a weekend is broken down a little bit different. This is where the rental car theory comes into effect. A rental car weekend begins at 12 noon on Thursday and end at 12 noon on Monday which gives you approximately 4 days of quality time. I know... I know you still don’t understand what a rental car has to do with all of this. So let’s go deeper. When you rent a rental car it doesn’t technically belong to you. Though you are obligated to take care of it you still have a tendency to drive it a little harder and a little longer. While a weekend rendezvous should be setup exactly the same. The person your with doesn’t technically belong to you, but you are still obligated to take care of her/him. So if you are fortunate enough to be the chosen one you should go a little harder a little stronger and a little longer. You goal should be to push him/her to their limit. Don’t get me wrong when the question was asked people do enjoy “Love Making”, but they also enjoy being pushed to the limits. If you follow the Rental Car Weekend you should have plenty of time for both. I’m really not trying to make you feel cheap I’m just trying to find ways to make you happy… But hey to each it own. Y’all know how this ends… These are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

MY PRAYER

It’s me again Lord….First I would like to say thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak to me once again. Lord I promise this time this won’t be a vent session. I just wanted to take a little time and reflect on the last few years of my life. Lord I know that every situation in my life has been something I’ve either benefited or learned from, but like most people I still ask the question WHY? I don’t ask you WHY because things are going bad, but because regardless of what I have done you have continued to bless me.
Yeah there has been something that haven’t always gone my way like for instants my divorce… Lord you know I worked really hard at my marriage and I really was a great husband (Lightning Strike and a loud roar of thunder) Ok OK OK… gosh I wasn’t the best, but I did learn a lot from it I’m sure I’m a better person because of it. Plus you blessed me with a wonderful son, so once again I want complain.
As I reflect back on the last few years there may have been a few people I have hurt or mislead along the way. I need you to tell them to get over it..lol (Lightning strikes and the powers goes out)….. JESUS!...... JESUS……….. JESUS! You just gone cut off my lights…. Come on you know I was playing, I know you know my heart….(Lights came back on) Thank You! Now like I was saying please let them know that I am sorry, and I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. It was never my intentions to mislead anyone. It’s just that I have really been so focused on trying to be happily single that I haven’t given anyone a fair opportunity to add to my happiness. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself so I will just say a few words from R. Kelly.....
Father I’m so weak, (I WILL BE YOUR STRENGH)
and in my heart there is no peace (YOU CAN FIND ALL THAT IN ME).
I’ve got the weight of the world its feels like a million ton (JUST KNOW MY HANDS ARE WITH YOU SON)
Father I am so confused and I don’t what to do (GO DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND LEFT YOUR HAND TO ME IF YOU’RE READING THIS LEFT YOUR HANDS UP WITH US PLEASE. NOW WITH A LITTLE FAITH ABOUT THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED DO YOU BELIEVE)………………Yes I do believe ….(THEN STAND UP AND CLAIM VICTORY)
Ok now that I have that off my chest I can get back to business…..

FILE CABINET!!!

Years ago I started separating people and placing them in the files they belong in. At the time I really didn’t know I was creating personal files, but now that I know I have decided to categorize them into 3 groups.
Active File: People I still chill with from time to time for whatever reason…..
Inactive Reserve File: People who have moved on with their lives (Married, Dating, or Just wanted more than I was willing to give)…. But I keep the window open for a easy return.
Deactivated: People I just don’t fu@k with anymore for whatever reason. …

So here is the problem at hand…. I have a issue with letting people go, I make excuse for myself by say “I’m this way because I don’t like burning bridges, because I never know when I going to have to cross that bridge again”, but I really think it because I’m arrogant and selfish. I used the word arrogant not because I’m conceited or vain, but because I’m extremely confident that I will get another chance. I use the would selfish because like all men we have learned this unwritten rule that states whatever woman deal with us; belongs to us and there’s no way she can be happy with anyone else….. Is this rule really true hell naw, but you can’t make me think any other way. This small problem is the reason why my INACTIVE RESERVE FILE is overflowing. I have never had a problem with my ACTIVE FILES or my DEACTIVATED FILES. Everyone in my INACTIVE RESERVE FILES brought something to the table, something that caught my attention which is why they were in my ACTIVE FILES at some point.
I think what I really need to do is re-evaluate the way my files are setup and build another file in that cabinet which reads PLATONIC FILES… Damn!! Never mind I’m still questioning can Men and Women truly be just friends…. (Which was a “Note” on my facebook page a while back)? TO BE CONTINUED……..
Everyone has some type of filing cabinet, but the issue is how accurate are the files inside. These are JUST MY THOUGHTS what do you think?

You Ain't Shit

I was playing Taboo on New Year’s Eve when a funny argument broke out because one of my teammates tried to cheat by whispering the answer. A member of the female team used this incident to let go of some built up frustration. She began her vent session by saying “all black men are cheating no good dogs, and they can not be trusted”. I started to laugh because I’m wondering how in the hell did cheating at a game of Taboo lead to her blowing up like this. Y’all know I like to keep sh!t going especially when I know it’s pissing someone off so I decided to keep listening. She said “I can look at a man and tell whether or not he is a cheater”. That was funny as hell because when she said that most of the dudes start coughing Bu!!sh!t under their breath. I was really starting to get curious, so I ask her, “Am I cheater?". She says, “Where are you from?" Obviously I said Florida. That was her boiling point, because she blew up and said.."Hell yeah you are a cheater… my last two boyfriends are from Florida and they some cheating dogs too." Now I’m like, “Too?! What do you mean too? You can't label an entire state off your experiences with two dudes."
Now the whole time she going through this vent session I’m just assuming she is just a bitter chick, and if she has continuously been cheated on then maybe she had a right to be bitter. So now she is doing the hand waving thing that most angry women do, and I notice a wedding band on her finger…WTF. I asked her if she was married and she said “for almost 4 years." Now you know my next question… So when these two guys from Florida cheated on you were you married? This chick had the gall say, “They were married too.”, as if that made it a fair playing field.. I guess I will just put it out there. If you’re wondering why you keep attracting those so called NO GOOD MEN who ain’t SH!T…. It’s probably because YOU AIN’T SH!T… I’m not trying to be mean and maybe this is a little harsh, these are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

PART-TIME LOVERS

I was listening to my Ipod and an old song from H-town “Part-time Lover” came on (I really think I’m showing my age with this one, because a lot of you don’t have a clue who H-town is). Anyways this song reminded me of one of my favorite analogies about part-time lovers.
As I sit here and read the status update of most of my fellow Facebookers I see that most of you have a hump day and you really look forward to weekends. Image this you’re sitting at your desk, cubical, classroom, or hell even behind the counter and your boss comes in and says this…. “You have been extremely productive here at our company and we value you as an employee. We have been hearing rumors that you were unpleased with your current work scheduled and we would like to reduce your hours. Hold on Mr./Mrs./Ms. (Your Name) please stop cursing and throwing things… You’re taking this the wrong way let me explain what I’m offering you… I’m prepared to let you work part-time here, but willing to pay you your fulltime salary… I would like for you to take the rest of the day off and return tomorrow with your answer.” Most of you wouldn’t even need 30 seconds to make that decision, and I’m sure 100% you take him up on that offer. Now that you’ve heard my little scenario let’s see if we can tie this into today blog topic.
If a person can receive fulltime lover’s benefits for part-time lover’s services why would they ever want a fulltime position again? One of the biggest mistakes made during the beginning stages of a relationship is giving someone fulltime benefits when they’re really only doing part-time work. It’s ok to give them a little snack during they’re part- time shift… but just use that as an incentive to push them to work a little hard to become your full time employee. The problem is some people can’t differentiate between when to handout the snack and when to give away the full course meal. This part is really hard for me because I haven’t made too many fulltime commits myself (I’m more of a weekend lover….lol). If they haven’t given you a fulltime commit, then there’s no reason for them to get the fulltime benefits. Part-time commits only get you part times benefits. It’s not on me to tell you what you should consider part-time or fulltime benefits, but I will say fulltime should be an obvious upgrade from part-time. I’m just saying I don’t think person will ever commit fulltime if they’re getting fulltime benefits for their part-time loving.
Maybe it’s a little unfair for me to be given out so much information about how we really think, but I feel like most of this stuff women already know. So I guess I’m just confirming what you already know…These are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

TOO INDEPENDENT

“I love her ‘cause she got her own….She don’t need mine, so she leaves mine alone. There ain’t nothin’ that’s more sexy… Than a girl that want, but don’t need me.” I need you to close your eyes and picture me singing that with a sexy voice ( Now that I got the ladies panties wet… let’s get down to business). The Urban dictionary defines an INDEPENDENT WOMEN as “a woman who pays her own bills, buy her own things, and does not allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports herself entirely and is proud to be able to do so." Nowhere in that definition does it say she is way too sure of herself, extremely eager to express her opinion (and demolish yours); nor does it say she is an obnoxious, know-it-all pain in the ass. The problem with so many “TOO INDEPENDENT” women is that they want to control everything and reduce their men to being boys. They think they know the answer to everything Who, What, When, Where, and, Why. Men hate that sh!t with a passion.. Women that are TOO INDEPENDENT do not leave room for compromise. Or better, they see “compromise” as “he must change for me” or “he must adapt to my life style”. I think men will compromise, but if he sees that he is the only one making compromises, very soon he will start to question his role in the relationship. Seriously are we a companion, or an accessory? Ladies you have to allow your men to be men. The same way women are instinctively nurturers men are instinctively providers. It’s in a man’s nature to protect and provide, and when you don’t allow him to do that he starts to feel as if he’s not wanted or needed. Why in the hell would someone stick around where they’re not wanted or needed? Men aren’t intimidated by an INDEPENDENT WOMEN. So don’t think that’s the case… men are repelled by women who are unable to turn off her ego and attitude. These women are considered TOO INDEPENDENT.

Look ladies I’m not saying being Independent is a bad thing… Hell it's a great thing, but being TOO INDEPENDENT is the problem. I truly understand that black women (keep it 100 that’s who I’m talking about here) have a history of working 1 or 2 jobs to support themselves, and then come home to work a full time job as a mother (love you mom). I understand that there are some sorry ass dudes out there who have left you to raise kids and to take care of all of the bills on your own. I understand that due to these past events in history you feel like in order to get things done, you’ve had to rely upon yourself. As a result of this, you feel like you really don’t need a man. You have to get over that and let a real man be a man..
I will be totally honest with you. We need each other; hell men and women were made to be together. Look at the equipment God has blessed us with: it fits so perfectly together (well in most cases…lol). A strong man and a strong woman should make a powerful combination, but when a woman is TOO INDEPENDENT there’s no compromise or communication. That's when two strong people develop a power struggle and it drives them apart.

There is nothing wrong with being a successful, driven, INDEPENDENT woman. Ladies you should never put your life or career on hold because a man feels inferior to you, but at the same time there is no need to drive a good man away by being TOO INDEPENDENT. I’m going to end this with a verse from one of my favorite songs… This is the second verse on Musiq Soulchild’s last alum ONMYRADIO the song is called “SOMEONE”….
All that I hope for a friendship that´s so pure
A girl I can talk to bout
whatever is on my heart
A woman that needs me
That trust and believes me
That won’t take my kindness as
some kind of weakness
A woman who bares her soul who
is willing to let go
That wants me to lead her but
knows how to take control
And when I am feeling down
Cause things are going wrong
She fills me up and makes me feel strong
THERE ARE GOING TO BE TIMES WHEN A MAN MAY SLIP AND FALL, AND IT’S GOING TO TAKE A STRONG WOMAN TO HELP HIM UP…. CAN YOU BE THAT WOMAN?

These are JUST MY THOUGHTS.....

5 x 20% RULE

I have met a few wonderful women in my life time, and there were many different things I liked about them all. Sometimes it would be something as simple as her smile and other times it was something as serious as our compatibility. Whatever the case, it was never enough to keep me interested. I really can’t explain why. Maybe it was that thing they call the 80-20 rule or maybe I just haven’t found the right combination for my 80%. Well I think I have found a solution for this it’s called the 5 x20% rule.
Everyone has heard of the 80-20 rule. It’s crazy how we would risk losing 80% for a measly 20%, but let’s keep it 100 this happens all the time. I think most people appreciate having that 80%, it’s just that they’re not quite sure which 80% they really need in their life. This is where the 5x20% rule comes into play. I remember joking about this awhile back, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense to me (That’s all that really matters).
Let’s start with the obvious the 80-20 rule equals 100% and the 5x20% rule equals 100%, so it’s basically two different paths to get to the same location. The 5x20% rule is simple. Listed below are 5x20% rules in order.
First, you must be honest with yourself and honestly figure out what five qualities you really feel you need in a companion. (You may only choose 5… Hence the 5x20% rule)
Second, take your time and find a few people that possess one or more of the qualities you wrote down on the first step. Me personally I would chose one person per quality, that way you can evaluate each quality in depth, but to each his/her own. You really have to focus on this one, and try not to pick people with the same combination of qualities. Doing so would defeat the purpose of spending time with different people. You must understand this isn’t about sex. So I’m not saying you have to sleep with the people you choose… We all love sex (trust me I understand), but sex is usually the first thing to diminish in a relationship. This has to be about the important things in a relationship, and even though sex would be first on a lot of lists I consider it more of a bonus then a necessity.
Third, as you’re spending quality time with your quality people try and shorten your list of required qualities. This is going to the frustrating step, but this has to be done in order to find you true 80%.
Finally, once you have finished the elimination process remember which 4 ( 80%) quality you decided to keep and which 1 (20%) you feel you can do without. Now here is the tricky part... even though you now know what you're looking for you may not find that particular combination of qualities in one of the previous people you spent time with. So if you don't find that combination you're still in good shape, because the previous steps give you a good foundation to start with. If you are lucky enough to find that person during the initial quality search then the process is complete. This may sound a little crazy at first, but it’s the best route to take, because when you finally commit to your special person it should truly be a match made in heaven or a GIFT from GOD… In my world this would be a perfect solution to stop people from wondering around looking for that 20%, because now you have already told yourself you can do without it. Now it’s on you to man up and not chase after it. I know this seems a little crazy and I will even admit that it is, but hey this is my blog and these are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

TRADING FILET MIGNON FOR SPAM

Fellas why is it that we can’t seem to understand article 68, sections A & B in the Man Law Handbook? This article states: “NO MAN WILL REPLACE HIS CURRENT OR EX- GIRL WITH ANOTHER WOMAN WHO IS NOT AN OBVIOUS UPGRADE”. Hell this is a law even the women follow and they have never seen the Handbook.
Article 68 section A…: Looks and Appearance:
Looks should not be the most important element of this article, I know and understand that, but let’s be honest the first attraction is always a physical attraction. This new person may possess a lot of the qualities you’re looking for in a woman, but if she is not easy on the eye that’s a No-No… Although the qualities are and should be the most important thing you just can’t down grade. Now if your ex was ugly as hell, then we understand, there really isn’t more than one level of ugliness. If you insist on going against this Man Law then at least focus on her appearance. I have to admit it’s really going to be hard to make Chicken Salad out of Chicken Sh!t, but if you spend enough money to spice it up, maybe someone other than you will eat it….
Article 68 section B…: Financially stable & educated:
Leaving a financially stable and educated woman for a woman who has no education or career is just plain stupid (notice I added career, because you don’t need an education to have a good career). How in the Hell can she be a Homemaker/ Housewife when you stay in an apartment and you don’t have any kids… SMH….Oh yeah, doing hair in the kitchen does not count as a career…. I think this topic is cut and dry so I won't beat a dead horse. These are JUST MY THOUGHTS… What do you think?

WHY WON'T THEY CHEAT?

A lot of us walk around bragging about our sexual life. Men openly boast about their so called stroke of gold and some women discreetly think if they threw their cookies up in the air it would turn to sunshine (Harlem Nights). I’m starting to believe they really think that…. That would be the only reason they would think the person cheating on their significant other for few a nights with you wouldn’t do the same to you. Let’s keep it 100 is it because the chick before you didn’t treat him right? “She didn’t know how to treat him… I make him feel like a man” or Dude couldn’t put it down like me “I got her sprung of the D!@K”?? Yeah yeah yeah! That’s what the last dude/chick before you said. If he/she got with you once and they already had a dude/girl why wouldn’t they cheat on you?

Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m sure you will), but I think this is more of a female issue. True enough some males do have this problem, but usually if she already has a man a guy is content with being boyfriend #2 (at least I know I am). Hell! All you would have to do is provide a little maintenance every now and then. On the other hand most females are not going to settle with being girlfriend #2. They normally only get involved if they feel they have a fair chance at stealing you away from who you are currently with. Yeah they may accept that role during the transition phase, but eventually she is going to go there and we all know where there is. I really want to know why you want him/her. Why would you force a cheating person’s hand? I mean it has to be sexual so keep it real and keep it moving… You can’t honestly think your golden stroke or your sunshine can keep a lock on to him/her...You will eventually lose your grip just like the person before you.
I just think you’re a fool if you think they won't cheat. Maybe my opinion is too strong, but these are JUST MY THOUGHTS. What do you think?

NO COUTH!!!

Couth defined:Showing or having good manners or sophistication

True story (no B.S.)…. I’m standing there having a conversation with another male officer, when a female officer (I only mention Officers because we are suppose to be educated and have some kind of couth) walks up smiling and joins in on the conversation. A few minutes after joining the conversation she says “Hey Henry I got something for you” she then turns and actually farts on my leg…WTF… I really felt that shit. Trust me it wasn’t one of those little poots women try and sneak out and hope you don’t smell and call her ass on it (she really let one go). I was at a loss for words, and y’all know I can talk for days. The weird thing was people were standing there laughing like the shit was cool.
So now I’m staring at her with that “did you really just do that shit look on my face”. She had the audacity to ask me “what’s wrong” ….is she serious. :
1)You don’t know me that well….
2)There is no way you can possibly be that comfortable around me, and
you don’t know we that well…and
3)THAT’S JUST PLAIN NASTY….
I’m I being too critical? I mean I have never had a female do that to me before…. I use to think she was attractive, but now she is just plain nasty. She has lost every cool point she had with me. Is there a time when a woman should feel comfortable enough to do that? I personally don’t think women should ever be that comfortable, but these are JUST MY THOUGHTS... What do you think?

WINDOW SHOPPING

I really hate going to the mall with a woman. I don’t know what’s worse, her asking me to hold her purse, or sitting in front of the dressing room waiting on her to try on clothes she probably won't buy. When I really think about it I only go because I’m hoping to get a chance at a spontaneous quickie in the dressing room... Unfortunately that hasn’t happened yet…
A woman has the ability to go into the mall and try on 1000’s of dollars worth of clothes and leave the mall without purchasing anything but a Frappuccino from Starbucks…SMH….That’s because most women are unsure of what they really want and need. I try not to include myself in my blogs, but I think this will help get a full understanding of what I’m trying to say. When I go in the mall I know that I wear; an extra large shirt, size 38 long in pants and a size 12 shoe. So when I go to try on clothes (if I even try them on) that’s the size I go for. On the other hand, a woman will know exactly what size she wears and still try on a smaller size every single time. Women pick men the exact same way. Like I said earlier they’re never really sure of what they really want or need. For example, why do most women want a sensitive rough neck or thug?? WTF That’s an oxymoron …..Hell!!! Either you want him to smack you around or you want him to cuddle with you… You can’t have both. Women also go to the mall and buy those expensive pair of Manolo Blahniks knowing your feet are going to be hurting like hell later. She will also pick a men knowing he walk, eat, sit, and bark like a dog. All he is going to do is piss on you to mark his territory then leave you where you stand.
Men on the other hand always buy the clothes and shoes that fit comfortable…What? What do you mean why? Because a man always knows what he wants no IFs ANDs or BUTs about it. Well maybe at first he does; that is until a woman comes along and tries to convince him otherwise. If he lets that happen then they’re both screwed because now neither one of them knows what the hell they want.
I really don’t know if this is a fair assessment of men and women, but either way these are JUST MY THOUGHTS! What do you think?

A Christmas List of Kryptonite

Every Superhero has his/her weakness… That weakness proves that they are still human and not completely invincible… Well lately I had been thinking that I was invincible, I mean nothing could penetrate this heart of Ice Cold Steel. I was convinced. Yeah! Before you ask, I do consider myself a superhero… There’s Superman, Batman, Ironman, all of the X-men, hell there is even a Wonder Woman. So why can’t I be… you ready for this…. ta dadada ta daaa! THE MANTENTENCE MAN! Ok ok ok… I have to work on my intro, but I know you can picture me in my black cape and Under Armour compression shorts (tights aren’t manly), with a tool belt around my waist and a hammer and nail logo on my chest.... LMBAO.
Well this morning I found my weakness and it came in the form of a Christmas wish list. I was talking to Mini Me (CJ my son) on Skype last night and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Asking a child what he wants for is just plan crazy because usually they ask for about 50 different things and the price is not an issue because they don’t have to pay for it. Well CJ only had a three present wish list, and here is what he wanted:
1) A Percy the train for his train track (one of Thomas the trains friends) to replace the one or two he had already broken ($10.99).
2) A whole lot of Lightning McQueen cars to add to the 25 he already has ($23.99).
3) Lastly he wanted his daddy to be there when he woke up that morning...priceless. After I explain to him that I am far way and I wouldn’t be there; this is he conversation that we had:
CJ: “Well how about this… you can pick me up in your fast car that way you can come and get me”
Me: “CJ, daddy doesn’t have his car”
CJ: “Well how about this… you can pick me up from my mommy’s house and take me to get Percy” (the train he wants).
Me: “CJ daddy won’t be home for a long time, but he will buy you anything you want”
CJ: “ I just want you to come and get me and take me to your house for my birthday then”
Mommy: “ CJ your daddy is going to be gone for along long time… he is going to miss Christmas and your birthday, but he is coming to get you when he gets back”
CJ started to cry once his mother finally broke it down to him. Due to the elements here in Iraq the sand and dust was starting to make my eyes water. That was the moment I realized that my Mini Me would spend this entire holiday season plus his 5th birthday without me. That’s how I found my weakness. My weakness is CJ. I should have known because I remember taking him to get his shot as a baby and him crying and giving me that 'you’re not going to protect me look. I remember fighting back the tears then…. I normally end my blog by saying "these are JUST MY THOUGHTS", but today I will say, THIS IS JUST HOW I FEEL. I guess you would have to be a parent to understand...

POWER OF THE COOKIE

I woke up every morning at 5:30 to go on my routine morning run. After my run I went to breakfast I had 3 hard boiled eggs instead of that western omelet I had been fiending for. Those of you who know me know that I love ice cream, but I have limited myself to one measly scoop on Sunday (Sundae) evenings at dinner. I’m really trying hard to maintain an attractive physical appearance. Did you seriously just ask why? Well it’s not my fault I’m going to blame it on the power of the COOKIE. Yeah the power of the COOKIE, it can take control of most men (unless he doesn’t like cookies and that’s not for me to talk about).
Almost everything a man does is done for the COOKIE. To a man having a lot of COOKIES in his COOKIE jar is almost as important as the money in his bank account. The only reason the COOKIE isn’t held higher is because you usually need money to get the COOKIE, and it doesn’t work that well the other way around (Hopefully by now we are starting to understand what the cookie really is).
Women have this strong power over men, and I don’t think all of them know they have it. Now don’t get me wrong there are a few of them out there who know about this power, but unfortunately most of us call them “GOLD DIGGERS”. A gold digger knows what she has and she uses it to get exactly what she wants… I’m telling you the COOKIE is a powerful thing; a man will give up almost anything for a piece of it. All she has to do is break him off a few crumbs here and there, and he will keep giving that COOKIE dough (haha I made a funny). I hear women all the time talking about how they got played, but a gold digger (real gold digger) can’t get played because she gets the goods before she gives up the COOKIE… I don’t want you to mistake a GROUPIE for a gold digger. A groupie has gold digger intentions, but she gives up the COOKIE too fast, so all she normally gets is a free limo ride and a chance to stand around in VIP for the night. I see I'm starting to digress because this wasn't meant to be a gold digger 101 class.
I don’t want you to get it twisted and get your feelings hurt...Some COOKIES have more power than others. I think every female should know what her COOKIE worth…. If you have a value meal COOKIE don’t be trying to get a Mercedes, just push for the Super Size and a Mcflurry and consider it a come up….
The bottom line is male friends, boyfriends, and husbands can be all controlled by the COOKIE. You just have to know how much power your COOKIE has:
Is it a Otis Spunkmeyer because they’re always soft and chewing (Giiirrrl keep that glass of milk)… or is it that 2/$1.00 or 1/.59 cent pack from Wal-mart (as soon as you open the package they turn to dust)
THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS… What do you think?

Why Would You Take The Drink?

Females have had bathroom conversation for years about the guy who keeps following them around the club…When you think about it he is probably outside of the bathroom while you’re having that conversation. Yeah I know he gets on your nerves (DAMN!!! is he a stalker or something).
Here is the million dollar question… Why is this fool following me everywhere? Riiiiiiight! You read the topic of this post so I’m sure you know he is following you because you’re walking around the club with his drink. Yeah! That’s right! I said his drink; as long as there’s ice in that cup your time belongs to him. At least that’s what he thinks, and that’s why he bought the drink. When a guy buys you a drink in the club he is attracted to you and probably trying to get to know you on a different level whether it’s socially or sexually (He met you in the club so my guess is sexually)… Seriously think about it… have you ever seen a guy walk up to a group of girls and offer to by the ugliest one a drink… Exactly! Ugly drink buying doesn’t happen.
What makes it worst are you females who get the drink and have the audacity to go over and share it with their dusty ass friends who was probably not cute enough to get someone to buy them one. I can honestly say in all of my years (there is a lot of them) I have never bought a random chick a drink in the club. If I ever decide to buy a female a drink in the club, and she leaves to share it with her friend, well she just volunteered her friend for a Ménage a trios…
Why would you take the drink if you know you’re not interested in the person buying it? It really doesn’t make any sense to me, but hey these are JUST MY THOUGHTS…What do you think?